flatsound:

i sure do laugh a lot for someone who’s dead on the inside.

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I have two daughters, so I’m raising two future women. Maybe! I mean, one of them might be a guy later. It’s possible. It could happen. Someday one of my daughters could be like ‘Dad, I’m really a guy’ and I’ll be like ‘Alright well let’s get you a dick, honey. We’ll get you the nicest dick in town.’

Louis CK (reason #94826 why he’s the best comedian)
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ocelhira:

i dont get offended at white people jokes even though im white because: 

  1. i can recognize white people as a whole have systemically oppressed POC in america, which is where i live 
  2. most people when they make white people jokes only mean the shitty white people and i am not a shitty white person 
  3. im not a pissbaby

Every time someone suggests I need to defend my white people jokes, a little part of me wants to roll my eyes. I like to think that part of me comes from my opium-addicted, railroad-building ancestors.

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gq:

How to Date Me: Anna Kendrick

1. Favorite human

2. I don’t think GQ is fully aware that she is trolling them mildly.

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